LEGO Jawas

Everyone who isn't a droid loves the Jawas. The dirty little hooded scavengers on Tatooine, they cruise around the sand dunes looking for lost and broken down droids, which they chop shop and resell to suckers eking out a living as moisture farmers.

But since they're played by little people, and say things like "UTINNI!" and have glowy eyes, they're adorable. A-freaking-dorable. And kind of dirty. And they probably smell like feet. In any case, they're an essential part of the Star Wars universe, but the only LEGO set they came with is the Sandcrawler, which cost approximately eleventy-billion dollars. So I never ended up with one, but still wanted some Jawas.

Me being the freak I am, I decided to make my own. Found some hoods, some brown LEGO bits and pieces, some paint, and before you know it, I've got five Jawas utinniing the place down. Turns out "utinni" is a bad thing. Disgusting creatures.

Five guys named Jawa.

With some droids they're gonna sell. If you buy them, Stormtroopers will probably kill you. But your adopted nephew will end up moving on to greater things. Like near-incest.

Muppet Batman and Robin

For those of us who are obsessed with pop culture, there's not much sweeter than when those obsessions intersect. And if I have to force that intersection, so be it. A few years ago I had an abundance of time, and a friend at Palisades Toys sent me "extra" Muppet Show figures that had been damaged, were samples, or unsellable. So I had the chance to make way too many custom-made versions of my favorite characters.

Over the next few weeks, you'll see the denizens of Gotham City as you've never seen them before...unless you've seen them before. In any case, we'll start with the Dynamic Duo themselves, Batman and Robin.

I decided to "cast" the captain and scientist from the Pigs in Space sketches as Batman and Robin, so it's Link Hogthrob as the Dark Knight, and Julius Strangepork as the Boy Wonder. I used the Adam West/Burt Ward Batman and Robin as an inspiration, and I think they turned out pretty darn spiffy.

Link Hogthrob as Batman

His closeup...

Dr. Strangepork as Robin...with short shorts that make us all uncomfortable.

The Caped Crusaders, ready to defend Gotham City against any and all supervillains...until dinnertime.

Stay tuned for more Muppety Gotham City updates, including Commissioner Gordon, Alfred, Joker, Penguin, Catwoman, Mr. Freeze, Riddler, Mad Hatter, Two-Face, Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, and Ra's Al Ghul!

Pork Chops

Cartoons about a Fisher Price Family, and why that little boy is always so mad.

Rubber Duckie at Arches National Park

One of my favorite places on the planet is right in my own backyard. Which, in the Western United States, means it's about three hours away. If you speed. Arches National Park is a beautiful, bizarre collection of sandstone arches and spires in Eastern Utah. I've been there several times, and we're hoping to take our sons there this spring. Here are a few pictures of Rubber Duckie among the red rock formations.

In the early morning, so there are weird shadows. And hands.

Much better. You get a good idea for how hot it can get there--this was in August, and the temperature was already nearing 90 degrees by 8 AM. But it's a "dry heat."

Cooling off beneath a double arch...

Contemplating gravity.

At Delicate Arch at sunset--one of my all-time favorite pictures, taken with a junky camera in 1998. I've got to get back there soon. I'll be sure Rubber Duckie is along for the ride.

Winnie the Pooh Fisher Price Little People

I've been a fan of Winnie the Pooh since before I can remember. Some of the earliest pictures of me have me wearing Pooh Bear pajamas, and back when we listened to those little records and books that said "turn the page when the chimes ring," the Winnie the Pooh ones were some of my favorites.

As I got older, I learned to appreciate the original books by A.A. Milne, and I find them as charming as the Disney animated adaptations. When I was on a mission for the LDS Church in Germany, I read all of the Milne stories "auf deutsch" as a sort of language study, and whether it's in English or German, I love the words.

When I decided to make some Winnie the Pooh Fisher Price Little People, at first I was going to make them in the Disney style. Then I decided that making them in the "Classic Pooh" style of Ernest Shepard's illustrations would be more challenging, so I went down that road.

Christopher Robin, Winnie the Pooh, Piglet, Eeyore

Tigger, Owl, Rabbit, Roo, and Kanga. And a blinding flash.

The whole Hundred Acre Wood Gang. They'll mess you up. And your Hunny.

Star Wars LEGO: Salacious Crumb and Bounty Hunters

A few years ago, LEGO put out their first Jabba the Hutt sets. And while I think they did a nice job on The Corpulent One's design and sculpt, and some of his cronies like Bib Fortuna and the Gamorrean Guards turned out well, something was missing. Not Leia in a skimpy gold bikini--we got that too. What was missing was Salacious Crumb.

The cackling little "lizard monkey" was a part of so many scenes in Jabba's Palace that I couldn't overlook him. To make the tiny little guy, I took a round LEGO brick--a minifigure's head, actually--and added details made of Sculpey to make Salacious Crumb come to life. A beaked head, scrawny arms and tail, and then painted the rest of the details. He won't win any beauty contests, but he might be good at pulling Threepio's eye out of it's socket.

Bib Fortuna, Salacious Crumb, Jabba and Princess Leia

Another place that I wanted Star Wars LEGO to boost their numbers was with their Bounty Hunters. They made Boba Fett fairly early on in the Star Wars run, but where were the rest? I decided to make a few of my own. Bossk, IG-88 and Dengar were all seen briefly in The Empire Strikes Back, on their way to try and capture Han Solo. Bossk was made with a Sculpey head--the others with painted details. If I were to go back and redo them, I'd do them all a bit differently, but for now, they'll do. The fourth Bounty Hunter I made is Boussh--Princess Leia's disguise when she travels to Jabba's Palace, thaws Han Solo, and gets captured. I added Sculpey to a LEGO helmet, gave her an air tank backpack, and sent her on her way.

Since making these a few years ago, LEGO has produced their own Dengar and IG-88, although neither one really satisfies me. Bossk is coming later this summer as part of a new Slave I set (Boba Fett's spaceship), and the pictures I've seen look nice. One out of four ain't bad.

Boussh, Bossk, IG-88, Dengar

Beaker in Carbonite

My favorite Star Wars movie is The Empire Strikes Back, and some of my favorite scenes from that involve Han Solo getting "frozen" in carbonite. To the point that when I was a pup, it wasn't unusual to find my mom's freezer stocked with Star Wars action figures that had all been frozen into little Kennersicles. It was usually up to R2-D2 to save them all, which he did surprisingly well. Especially after my mom was tired of pushing aside the heroes of the Rebellion to get the frozen corn. Priorities, woman!


I figured of all the Muppets to end up frozen in carbonite, it would probably be Beaker, once again proving that he's not paid nearly enough to be Dr. Bunsen Honeydew's lab assistant. So I took an extra Beaker figure I had lying around, got some Plaster of Paris, and encased that kid in carbonite. He should be quite well protected. If he survived the freezing process, that is.

Success!

Bunsen, undoubtedly explaining to Beaker how Beaker screwed up.

The longest "meep."