Lord of the Rings Fisher Price Little People

I've never been the biggest fan of Lord of the Rings. I acknowledge what a masterpiece the books by J.R.R. Tolkien are, and even the film series, but I just never fell for them the way so many other people have. Some of my bestest friends are in love with Middle Earth, and I respect them for it...I just haven't maintained my own Hobbit-hole there.

Even though I'm not huge on the world or the characters, I figured with all these Hobbitses running around, and all the spare Fisher Price Little People running around my house, it was inevitable that I at least made some foray into Lord of the Rings. When I first started, I'm sure I figured I would make sets for all three movies, but so far, it's just been Fellowship of the Ring.

Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin

Gimli and Legolas

Saruman and Gandalf

Boromir, Aragorn, and Galadriel

The whole Middle Earth Gang. Watch out for tagging in Elvish.

Muppet Batman: Commissioner Gordon and Alfred

Some of my favorite Batman characters aren't superheroes or supervillains--they're the "civilians" that help Batman in his war on crime. The two most important, and long-time favorites of mine, are Commissioner Gordon and Alfred Pennyworth. Once I saw that Palisades Toys' Reporter Kermit came in a trenchcoat, and Rowlf in a tuxedo, it wasn't much of a jump to make two of Batman's greatest allies.

Kermit was a pretty easy makeover--a little white moustache made from Sculpey at the end of his nose (perhaps Salesman Grover sold it to him before selling him a moustache comb?), and that's it. I didn't repaint any of the rest of the figure, so he's a good enough Commissioner Gordon already.

I did make a little accessory for him from a broken Animal drumset and Muppet Show TV camera: the Batsignal. Because, as good a cop as Commissioner Gordon is, without the Batsignal, he's pretty much another cop in a deteriorating city bedeviled by costumed supervillains.

Commissioner Gordon ready to flip the switch, summoning Batman and Robin.

The Dynamic Duo--looks like Robin's getting a scolding. It's probably about the short shorts.

Rowlfred was even easier in some respects, because I didn't resculpt anything for him. The tux he was wearing was already perfect for Alfred Pennyworth's butlering, so I just painted the vest and pants a different color to make him a little more manservant and a little less grand pianist. I also put some gray in his fur to age him up a bit--Alfred's a nice surrogate father figure for Bruce Wayne. It helps if he's older. Maybe not Michael Caine old, but older.

Man's Best Friend and a Gentleman's Gentleman.

Cleaning the Batcave. There's probably some scolding here too. Guy can't catch a break.

Close up of those eye wrinkles and gray fur. He needs Just For Dogs.

The crime-fighting and Batcave-cleaning protectors of Gotham City.

Next up: the villains!

Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends Fisher Price Little People

At some point post-SuperFriends and pre-X-Men, there was Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends. The Saturday morning cartoon series starred Spider-Man, Iceman and Firestar, all college students in New York City. I think somehow all three of them lived with Aunt May and "Miss Lion," a yappy little dog that Doctor Octopus should have crushed in the third episode.

I'm usually a DC Comics guy instead of Marvel Comics, but this was a fun cartoon that featured guest appearances from the X-Men, Fantastic Four, Hulk, and every other corner of the Marvel universe. If it were available on DVD, I'd buy it, watch the heck out of it, cringe at the shoddy animation, write reviews railing about how much it sucked, and return it disappointed to FYE for them to resell to the next nostalgic sucker.

Anyway. Here are some of the few Marvel Fisher Price Little People I've made. I'm surprised at how nicely Spider-Man came out. And Firestar's hair is awesome. Iceman...well, that was his design in the cartoon. He might need some work.

"Spider-friends, go for it!"

Yes, they said that.

LEGO Jawas

Everyone who isn't a droid loves the Jawas. The dirty little hooded scavengers on Tatooine, they cruise around the sand dunes looking for lost and broken down droids, which they chop shop and resell to suckers eking out a living as moisture farmers.

But since they're played by little people, and say things like "UTINNI!" and have glowy eyes, they're adorable. A-freaking-dorable. And kind of dirty. And they probably smell like feet. In any case, they're an essential part of the Star Wars universe, but the only LEGO set they came with is the Sandcrawler, which cost approximately eleventy-billion dollars. So I never ended up with one, but still wanted some Jawas.

Me being the freak I am, I decided to make my own. Found some hoods, some brown LEGO bits and pieces, some paint, and before you know it, I've got five Jawas utinniing the place down. Turns out "utinni" is a bad thing. Disgusting creatures.

Five guys named Jawa.

With some droids they're gonna sell. If you buy them, Stormtroopers will probably kill you. But your adopted nephew will end up moving on to greater things. Like near-incest.

Muppet Batman and Robin

For those of us who are obsessed with pop culture, there's not much sweeter than when those obsessions intersect. And if I have to force that intersection, so be it. A few years ago I had an abundance of time, and a friend at Palisades Toys sent me "extra" Muppet Show figures that had been damaged, were samples, or unsellable. So I had the chance to make way too many custom-made versions of my favorite characters.

Over the next few weeks, you'll see the denizens of Gotham City as you've never seen them before...unless you've seen them before. In any case, we'll start with the Dynamic Duo themselves, Batman and Robin.

I decided to "cast" the captain and scientist from the Pigs in Space sketches as Batman and Robin, so it's Link Hogthrob as the Dark Knight, and Julius Strangepork as the Boy Wonder. I used the Adam West/Burt Ward Batman and Robin as an inspiration, and I think they turned out pretty darn spiffy.

Link Hogthrob as Batman

His closeup...

Dr. Strangepork as Robin...with short shorts that make us all uncomfortable.

The Caped Crusaders, ready to defend Gotham City against any and all supervillains...until dinnertime.

Stay tuned for more Muppety Gotham City updates, including Commissioner Gordon, Alfred, Joker, Penguin, Catwoman, Mr. Freeze, Riddler, Mad Hatter, Two-Face, Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, and Ra's Al Ghul!

Pork Chops

Cartoons about a Fisher Price Family, and why that little boy is always so mad.

Rubber Duckie at Arches National Park

One of my favorite places on the planet is right in my own backyard. Which, in the Western United States, means it's about three hours away. If you speed. Arches National Park is a beautiful, bizarre collection of sandstone arches and spires in Eastern Utah. I've been there several times, and we're hoping to take our sons there this spring. Here are a few pictures of Rubber Duckie among the red rock formations.

In the early morning, so there are weird shadows. And hands.

Much better. You get a good idea for how hot it can get there--this was in August, and the temperature was already nearing 90 degrees by 8 AM. But it's a "dry heat."

Cooling off beneath a double arch...

Contemplating gravity.

At Delicate Arch at sunset--one of my all-time favorite pictures, taken with a junky camera in 1998. I've got to get back there soon. I'll be sure Rubber Duckie is along for the ride.